As the new year starts, there's a mental barrier that usually comes with the adrenaline the last quarter of the year has at the comparison of the new year, which is slow but still a steady stream of work. It's taken me a lot of time to realize that it's okay not to be extremely busy all the time. It's okay to focus on your self-care because, ultimately, this is where you find what drives your goals.
Since January isn't as busy as December, I planned a trip to Calvillo, Aguascalientes, Mx. I haven't been in over six years. Unfortunately, there would be one person missing. A person I love the most, my grandfather.
El Cerro, meaning the top of the hill, is where my grandpa lived. His land felt lonely without him. A place that was once filled with over 16 kids running around to a place now being close to empty. Sadness all around filled the air but looking through old photographs sparked joy within us.
Hug & love the ones close to you, you never know when it'll be the last time you see them.
I carry the last name RUIZ with pride because of the type of man my grandpa Chon was. He was a simple, humble, hardworking, God-loving man till his very last breath. I always felt a special bond with my grandpa. It might be because of how much he reminds me of my own dad. Growing up, my dad followed him everywhere. The whole family says it was because my dad was the biggest troublemaker out of 16 siblings. lol (I believe it). Whenever my grandma needed a break, she would ask my grandpa to at least take Pancho with him. This resulted in endless stories that just included my dad and grandpa. (which I can listen to these for HOURS).
My Grandpa Chon was my last living grandparent, & he left us last year in November. Last week, I finally made my peace and kissed (the gravestone) my grandpa one last time. My grandpa joins my grandma and uncle Joel in that same grave. Although this brings extreme sadness to my heart, there's some peace knowing they're all together watching over us.
Many people traveled from near and far away to come and conversate with my grandpa. He was a loved man because of it. He spent his late-life helping people find peace with their sins. My grandpa confessed about 15 minutes before his passing—a beautiful blessing.
This man was a legend; he left behind 15 out of 16 children and over 100 grandkids & great-grandkids that carry that same last name. It was a pleasure to love him till the very end.
The last thing my grandpa gave me was that little prayer booklet. He told me to memorize a phrase in it and read it whenever I was in fear, "it will stop a bullet coming out of a gun; that's how powerful it is". I've carried it in my wallet ever since.
I will miss you forever, grandpa.